|Celebrating His New Job at Lunch|
I was so happy to hear James tell me he was starting up another business. I admire entrepreneurs and their lifestyles. I'm an entrepreneur myself, so to hear him talk business is very admirable and attractive. I love the #HUSTLE.
James told me he was inspired by my own hustle and he wants to make life easier for me and his children. He was kind of just existing for the last year and a half, so renewed focus and drive was what he needed. I truly believe we were meant for each other. It sounds mushy and gushy, but I swear ya'll... I am completely satisfied with James and our relationship development. We are really tight.
Last night he brought me a bouquet of Alstroemeria. This flower is symbolic of wealth, prosperity and fortune. It is also the flower of friendship. I didnt know he knew that, so I told him and you know what he said? He said, " I know that, Sha'ahn. In fact, I research every flower I buy you BEFORE I buy it, so I do know the meaning, and I get them for that reason." (Well, kiss my teeth! LOL I stand corrected)
We talk about EVERYTHING. Some things are probably TMI, but we share them anyway. I forget exactly what it was, but last night I mentioned something super gross about mucus nasal discharge or something, and James just listened and even responded as though I was talking about dinner plans or my latest recipe! I laughed and told him that I felt so good being able to talk to him about everything.
He said he feels the same way.
Both of us had been longing for the partnership we now share together. It's not to say that we didnt have good relationships before, but this is just DIFFERENT. We are really real with each other.
|My bouquet of Alstroemeria which he thoughtfully chose based on what this flower symbolizes|
Last night he asked me what don't I like about him. I really had to think about it for a long time! I couldn't come up with anything solid! The reason being is that any complaint Ive ever had, he fixed!
For Example, I told him:
take me out more often
keep fresh flowers in my house
help me with pocket money/gas/daily coinage
be consistent with your behavior
learn my body and my likes/dislikes
..... You get the drift...
James complied with everything. Some things typed above, I actually didnt verbally request, but I wanted and he came through, so I listed it. LOL
His gripe with me is just that I don't come visit him at his place when I say I am. I flake a lot. But Ive been a flake since we met! So, he cant just expect me to change in the span of 11 months! LOL
As for me, I find myself caring for him more than anyone Ive ever been with. Like seriously, I put him up there with the love I have for my son. I realized that yesterday at lunch.
I had taken him to lunch in celebration of his new gig at Hibachi Grill (James' choice, not mine) and in surveying the choices of food, saw most of it was unhealthy. I started thinking about cooking healthy meals for him. ME! Thinking about the nourishment of a grown man, whom I did not birth? Definitely love. The only people I have cared that much about is my son, and my parents. Now we can add James to the list. (BTW James talking bout "Wow! This is the second time you've paid for my food since we met!" He was tryna be a smartass, so I replied, "Yup. Cuz you are the man and you're supposed to pay!")
|the arms and hands i love so much changing his brake pads|
I think about his habit of smoking and I keep cool about it, so as not to anger him, or make him selfconscious about it, but every now and then I mention I'd like to see him cut down. Why? Because I want him to live longer! OMG... Cant even believe Im admitting that. But it's true.
I swear my mom was right when she told me I hit the jackpot with James. She said he seemed like a total package and not to let him slip away just because he has three children. So glad I listened to her!
Oh, before I forget to tell you: Last night we were outside and he was changing the brakes on his car. We broadcasted live on Periscope. (follow us @soulntuition and @J_Shaahn) I LOVED watching him do that work. He's so strong and masculine. I enjoyed watching his arms move and the muscles and veins showing underneath his pretty brown skin. (FANS SELF) Then we went inside and he asked me to help him choose his clothes for the week, since he hasnt had an office gig in a minute.
I enjoyed that too. We really are partners. I told James last night that I believe love is a drug. Or at least has drug-like effects. Because every time I hug him after not seeing him all day, I get a euphoric feeling as though I just smoked a joint or am tipsy or something! I asked him if he felt that and he said he does.
|choosing outfits for the week|
Love is a drug... I say that because Im doing things I never thought I would (as outlined above). Even yesterday after lunch, we couldnt even simply walk to our cars and leave. What happened? He walked me to my car, we hugged, laughed, kissed, talked. I got in my car, then got out and said, "Since I paid for lunch, let me be the woMAN and walk you to your car." We laughed and I walked James to his car. We hugged, kissed, laughed, and then James said, "Ugh I dont feel right. Let me walk you back to your car." So, we walked back to mine, and kissed, hugged and talked about how we didnt want to leave each other. Finally we went our separate ways. But it was a struggle.
|we make a great team|
I cant see myself with anyone else, and I hope James always looks at me the way he does. He tells me I am the best thing that ever happened to him and he loves me so deeply. Mostly because he can be himself and I love him anyway, without trying to change him.
I second that. He lets me be me too. I want to see him every day! We are working on that. Im still not open to renting my place while simultaneously renting a spot with him, but if he's willing to BUY, then I'll rent my place out ASAP and partner with him.