Monday, January 2, 2012

entry eight: just because im friendly, doesnt mean i will have a threesome with you

Me on the bus to New York

The day before New Year's Eve, I was on a Washington Deluxe bus heading to New York City because I had a go-see for a print modeling job. (wish me luck!)

The morning started off well, with my ex picking me up and dropping me off at the bus stop in DuPont Circle in the District. I got there early enough to pick out a decent seat. I wasn't lucky enough to have the seat all to myself but thank goodness the guy who did sit next to me seemed cool and didn't have any B.O.

The bus left on time and aside from the loud talker sitting behind me, all was well. I was eventually able to tune out the loud talking French guy sitting behind me, and drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, I was in New Jersey. I must have been super tired. Then again, the driver was a lead foot and we actually made it into NYC around 1145. That's less than four hours. WOW!

But I digress...

Anyway, when I woke up, I noticed that the guy sitting next to me was on his laptop, no doubt trying to get on Facebook or something. I had my iPad with me, but didn't feel the need to pull it out, when I could easily use my phone to get online. It seemed like the guy was having trouble connecting to the bus's server, and he looked over at me for help. I acted like I was interested in the cars zooming along the Turnpike, but he spoke anyway. He asked me if the bus was wired for wi-fi. I told him that it was, and I would look on the iPad and find the network name.

I did, told him what it was and then I attempted to connect. I was able to connect. He said that he still wasn't able to connect, and then he thanked me for trying to help. I told him it wasn't a problem, and then I continued to look out the window trying to figure out how close we were to our destination.

After a few minutes, the guy - let's call him 'S'- introduced himself. I told him my name and we shook hands. He was an Indian guy originally from New York. He was average height and build with dark features. He was attractive and had beautiful teeth and bright round eyes. His hair was thinning on the top a little, but it didn't detract from his looks overall. I think he was in his mid to late thirties, and I'd give him a 7 on a scale of 1-10. I lied and told him I lived in Arlington. He told me that wasn't far from where he lived in Alexandria and that if I was coming back to Virginia on Sunday then I would be more than welcome to hitch a ride with he and his family. (His wife and son) I told him, thank you but I was actually coming right back in about four hours. I was surprised at his generosity, but chalked it up to the holiday season of giving and whatnot. People are especially kind this time of year, so I didn't suspect the conversation to go where it did later on.

'S' then asked me whether I was going to New York to celebrate New Year's Eve in Times Square. I told him that I wished I could, but I would rather bring in the new year with my family, not a million strangers. "In fact," I said, "I almost always spend New Year's at home. I think I've only gone out on New Year's Eve twice in my adult life." He agreed with me and said he likes New York, but prefers the quiet Virginia life.

I said, "Cool." The next few minutes were filled with small talk, and me plugging THIS blog, and my acting career. I told him that I was taking a big step by attempting to make a living by acting. He seemed impressed, and then he told me I would definitely be a success. He said, "You have a beautiful smile. I'm sure that in no time, I will see you on TV or something and tell all my friends that I met you before on a bus." We laughed about how his friends would probably think he was lying. Then he started telling me about himself and how he had a young son who loved the beach. I told him that I had a son who loved the water too. I told him about my last vacation in Costa Rica where the water was so warm and the beaches so beautiful that my son couldn't get enough. He told me about a beach in Delaware that he said is great for children. I made a mental note to look up the beach. He then made a remark about betting that I looked great in a bikini. I told him that I don't wear bikinis, and he went on about how his wife was that way in the past, but once she gained confidence, she began wearing them. I told him that it was cool the way he encouraged her to step out that way, but I wasn't a bikini type of lady. I didn't feel any type of way about him flirting. I saw it as harmless, but I felt that my telling him how I don't wear bikinis would give him the hint that I wasn't cool with flirting with a married man, and I certainly didn't flirt back.

SIDE NOTE: I was cool with the conversation up until this point, and in the back of my mind I could have sworn he was being flirtatious before the bikini remark. But I brushed it off because he had already inserted that he had a wife into the conversation early on. I guess I would have been more suspicious of where he was taking the dialogue if he hadn't told me he was married.

As we were talking about our families, he kept telling me that I reminded him of his wife. He said that we were the same shape and height. He told me that she loved running, and I told him how I hated running. I said that if I never had to run again, it would be too soon. The Marine Corps had totally turned me off from that form of exercise. He laughed and said his wife could run for hours. So, I thought from the turn of the conversation that he was clear on me not flirting with him.

We continued to make small talk, and soon I saw the overpass that marked the entryway to the tunnel leading into New York City. People were snapping pictures on their cell phones and cameras and the bus was beginning to really liven up with excitement as we approached the drop-off point across the street from Penn Station.

That was when 'S' looked at me kind of funny. Like he was contemplating saying something to me, but was nervous about it. Next he looked at his cell phone and said, "Oh, wow. This is from this girl I'm meeting here." I thought to myself, "Oh. That's why he's nervous, he's about to have a secret rendezvous."

I shook my head and said, "Uhmmm, you better be careful." He looked at me and said, "Oh no, it's okay. My wife knows. We are all actually getting together for our first threesome." My mouth dropped. I said, "Ohhh okay. WOW! That's ummm dangerous." He asked me how so. I then told him about a man I knew a few years back who had lost his wife to a guy they had been swinging with. 'S' didnt think that would happen to him. He said, "Well, I mean, we are open to couples, but we havent done it yet. Besides, this was my wife's idea. She was into girls before marrying me, and we have been married for 15 years now. We want to spice things up."

I said, "Call me a romantic, but I would hope that if I ever remarried that my husband would only have eyes for me, even 15 years down the road." He snorted and said, "It's her idea. I mean, she likes women. In fact, I think she would love you. You should join us." I said, "Naw, that's not my thing."

He asked me if I had ever been with a woman, and that I should just have fun. I told him that I am strictly into men. He then threw my own words back at me that I had used while describing my "she's dating again" blog. He said, "but you told me yourself that dating should be fun, and this is fun. You should really think about hooking up with us in Virginia."

The bus had stopped and people were gathering their things and lining up to disembark. 'S' chilled out on trying to convince me to join his menage a trois. But after we got off the bus, before he walked away, he looked me in the eyes and said, "Hey, you only live once."

I said, "Trust me. I have lived. I've had a lot of fun in the past, but Im not looking for that kind of fun. And for the record what you're proposing isn't dating. So, you can't use the fact that I believe dating should be fun to try and convince me to join you. I'm just not into women like that. Plus, you're married!"

He shrugged and said, "Alright." As though I was missing out on the million dollar grand prize or something. The nerve of this dude.

Before 'S' walked away he offered to point me in the right direction to the casting office. I told him I had directions on my phone and showed him. He said they were good, and then he walked away saying, "Happy New Year!"

I said, "Yeah, same to you," and made my way through the crowd on the corner of 31st Street and 8th Ave toward my destination.

You know what? I just do not understand the swingers' lifestyle. I mean, why get married in the first place if you're gonna bring in someone else? Just defeats the purpose of making these marriage vows. And if excitement is the excuse, then why can't they liven up things between them in other ways?

*shrugs - Eh, to each his own. but its not for me. Im waaay to possessive and jealous to have another woman join my husband and I in an intimate setting. I also think its sad too in a way to not find TOTAL satisfaction in your mate.


oppene said...


Skye Marthaler said...

To each their own on what they do behind closed doors. As long as it is consensual and safe more power to them.

My issue is with the etiquette side of this. This cad is just rude, condescending, and judgmental on so many levels. He should consider himself lucky he didn't get the million dollar prize of a fist to the face.

Sha'ahn said...

LOL @Skye. I think he was taking his chance! LOL But yeah, the bus? Okay. How unclassy is that?

Q. Hall said...

If his words were true and this is something that they do in their marriage and it keeps them happy then so be it. I doubt it since he was on a bus to NYC to spend NYE weekend without his wife. Cant have a tre-piece with only two people (thats that Philadelphia public school education at work)!!!
However corny his approach was, the dude is an opportunist...he saw it and he went for it! I see no difference in meeting "a prospect" on the bus or meeting them in a club! Love and lust can be found anywhere!!
Do you have a tazer???

Sha'ahn said...


He was going to pick up his wife and son, and visit his family. His car was in NYC and he was gonna drive back with them. He was def an opportunist. LOL

Not my thing though.

Anonymous said...

You definitely can write your butt following your blog even if I don't comment on them all the time...keep up the good work!!


Anonymous said...

...btw..this "S" offer you some curry!!! lol


Sha'ahn said...

LOL< No Diego, he did not offer me any curry. And thanks so much for your support.

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