Tuesday, February 17, 2015

New Territory: Valentines Day 2015 Was Everything!!

This is gonna be another long one, so grab your tea, coffee, or wine and get to reading!

You guys already know that I wasn't certain how well Valentine's Day would turn out for me.
James seemed nonchalant about the whole thing. In fact, he complained a bit about it and everything!

At first, I wasnt even going to celebrate the Day of Love at all. I was going to shut my mouth about what I wanted, but after speaking with a wise friend of mine, I decided to tell James how I felt.
 This was our FIRST Valentine's Day. It should be a great memory. Right? (Read Last Post)


The day started off same as any other Saturday.  James had to work the night before, so we didnt talk much. I was already feeling like I'd be disappointed, so I didnt even call him Friday. We texted a bit, but we didn't talk much. I was brooding. I was wondering why he hadn't even asked me about my schedule for Saturday. I was thinking how in the world can he possibly have anything planned if he doesnt know what my schedule would be? All he knew was that I had a few clients at the spa. But I hadn't told him what time I would be done. I was thinking that this was going to be a disappointment like most Valentine's Days throughout my lifetime.

I'm not going to say that Valentine's Day is the biggest thing to me, but I think when people love each other, then why not celebrate it? Im a romantic at heart, but being single all this time had me in denial about the way I truly feel about it. But being with a man like James, I feel so much for him, that I wanted the holiday to be special for us.

Anyway, as far as my mindset leading into the Valentine's Day weekend, I just didn't feel like talking. In my mind, James was all but against Valentine's Day.


Friday night James texted me asking me about my schedule. I ignored the text, because I was in my feelings. Saturday Morning, when I awoke, I answered that I wasnt sure when I would be done at the spa. I could not remember when my last appointment was, but I told James that since the spa closed at 5PM, that I would be done around that time. He told me to text him when I was finishing up.

Saturday morning I woke up refreshed. It was a new day and I was not going to let "perceived" issues ruin my day. Mindset is everything. Needless to say work was great! We were all booked up and I gained two new clients, plus I earned $60 in tips. I was feeling better about the day already. Things were starting off well.

Around 4:30, James texted me asking was I done working. I texted that I was going to be there longer than I expected, but would be leaving soon. I finished at work and then texted James that I would be leaving the spa. He called me about 15 minutes later, and told me he was at Mick's.

I immediately got a little excited. Mick's is where we had our first date nearly six months ago. But then it hit me that I was still in my scrubs, and I looked all grungy. After putting up a bit of a fuss, I reluctantly agreed to NOT stop home to change, and instead, head to Mick's. 

We talked on the phone as I drove to the restaurant. James asked me if I was hungry. I told him I could eat, but was the place crowded?  If so, we could take our meal to go. James assured me that the restaurant was not crowded, but it was up to me if we ate there or not. I was cool with it. (I love Mick's.)

I arrived at the sports bar, just as it started to flurry snow flakes. The wind was picking up too. I'm glad I was wearing thermals under my scrubs to keep warm!

I entered the restaurant scanning for James. Where was he sitting? You guessed it! At the table where we sat on our first date. I knew it was the same booth, but I didnt let on. I walked up and he greeted me so warmly. Big hug and kiss. The waitress was standing nearby and she was all smiles too.

After exchanging pleasantries, we both sat down. After complimenting me on looking so beautiful, James asks me whether or not I recognize where we were sitting. I said, "No." He said, "It's the same table we had on our first date."

I asked how he could know that. He replied, "This table had the outlet." I said, "Ohhh that's what's up."

Next, James took my hands into his and told me that he was happy to be here with me. The waitress came by, and we ordered our drinks. He said he would have had a drink for me, but wasnt sure when I was going to reach him. I said that it was ok. Im not a big drinker anyway.

I did order a fruity mixed drink though. We took our time ordering our meal. We were just conversing and talking about the only other time we were at Mick's six months ago, and how neither of us could have foreseen the way we have grown together.

The meal was delicious. I had steak and James ordered pasta with chicken. (Let me add that when the kitchen staff person brought out the food, she automatically tried to serve James with the steak! LOL)

James said he had contemplated bringing my gift to the restaurant, but decided against it. I told him that was a good idea. 

After dinner, James paid the check and walked me to my car. He asked me if I wanted him to stop off anywhere before getting to my place. I said I was cool, and didnt need anything. I drove home, with him behind me. He drives slow, so I kind of left him. But its not as though he doesnt know where I live!

I got home, and immediately regretted not expressing my Valentine's Day as I had originally planned. I thought about the way the evening was unfolding. James definitely put thought into the night and was taking this more serious than he had led me to believe! I WAS going to do much more than I had. But he was just acting so funny before, that I didnt even go all out the way I'd planned.

Im never making that mistake again. If I want to do something a certain way, Im going to do it. Regardless of whether I think James will put forth the same effort. Because at the end of the day, I am expressing MY love. And if my love truly is unconditional, why would I hold back?

Im telling you guys, I was going to buy him a card, and put his gift in a bag... I also had planned to play a sexy game for couples with him... But earlier in the week, when I went to buy the card and stuff, I just changed my mind. Right there in the aisle. I had taken 20 minutes to choose the perfect card. And what did I do? I put the card back, and left the store. I didnt know whether James would find value in a greeting card... You know? I didnt even know if he really wanted to do V-Day!

....Anyway lesson learned, and I will not do that again.

So, I was glad that I got to my house before James did. I was able to spruce myself up a bit and do a little something with the gift I had gotten him. I pulled out his gift, which is a silver flask with a cigar compartment. I got a gift bag and tissue paper ready and set it up in my closet, so he wouldnt see. I pulled out the little lovers' game too, and put it aside.

I was about to get into the shower, when I heard James at the door. I ran out to meet him and we hugged as though we weren't just together half an hour before. He said he had stopped by the store to get something he had forgotten. He told me to sit down because he wanted to give me my gift.

I was so excited. But I felt bad that I hadn't done more for him. Guys usually do get the short end of the stick on Valentine's Day... Oh well! LOL

I didnt sit down when he told me to. Instead I followed him around like a little girl anticipating my gift. I was right behind him, so when he turned around, he almost knocked me down. He didnt know I was behind him. But he caught me before I tipped over. He had a red rose in his hand. It was all skinny, so in my head, I was like, "Is this a real flower or one of those felt gas station ones?"

Turns out he was holding a wooden rose. He told me that the wooden rose represented his love for me, because it would never wilt and die. I said, "Awwwww," and gave him a hug and kiss.

He also was holding a red envelope. He gave it to me. I opened it and this was what I found:

Such a cute card. When I opened the card, this was inside:
A HANDWRITTEN LETTER!!  Mind officially blown. I haven't received a handwritten letter in ages.

Among other things, the letter said he was happy with the way we were growing as a couple and he felt like this relationship was one he always imagined for himself. As I read the letter, all I could think of was how happy James makes me. All the time. He and I are so much alike, that he always comes through for me without even knowing it. It isnt forced, or contrived. Best part is that he is genuine! I believe every word he wrote. I finished reading the letter and I told him I felt the same way. And I loved him too.

Next he pulled out a gift bag. It was silver and it had pastel colored tissue paper. I commented about loving the bag and color of the tissue paper. He said he didnt want to do the traditional red paper. I appreciated that!

I still wasn't sitting down. He was sitting though. He started telling me about the gifts waiting in the pretty bag to be discovered. Before I was allowed to reach in the bag, he began telling me about how he went about choosing gifts for me. He went to a Black-owned shop that sold all handmade items. He understands how important it is to me to patronize black owned businesses. He also knows how important skin care is to me.

Yup, he got me handmade soap and body butter and lip balm. He got me these shower bombs too. The shower bombs have a pomegranate fragrance. James was like, "Use this when you take a shower tonight!" I told him I couldnt wait to put that in the shower. I wasnt sure how to use them, but he told me the store owner said to just put them in the corner of the shower out of the stream of water. The steam would activate the fragrance release. I really liked it too! I used everything he bought me that night. He also got me a handmade scented candle from the same store too. I loved everything.

Each item was made from shea butter and was so aromatic! I loved it. I immediately burned the candle, and James placed the shower bomb in the shower.

I thanked James for everything. I genuinely loved each gift. The day was perfect. He said he was going to go back to the store and buy me more body butter and another candle.
Here is the shower bomb:

I took a shower and used the handmade goat milk oatmeal soap. I am a soap snob and will spend top dollar on a single bar of soap. James remembered that I liked goat milk soap. I was so touched.

I got everything I asked for, which was a thoughtful gift and he over-delivered! 

Here's the candle: 

It smells so good! James is gonna buy me another. He hit a home run for real. I was starting to think that maybe my gift wasnt really that good in comparison to what he got me. But I believed the flask was something he would appreciate.

It was my turn to give James his gift. I kept kicking myself for not getting the card. I wasnt even able to put James' gift in the gift bag because when he was at the door, I wasnt able to get into my closet to get the bag, so I just gave it to him in its black box. Luckily the black box was elegant looking in itself. But a gift bag would have been better.

I gave him his gift. He really liked it. He said that he actually wanted a flask too. So, I feel good about that. But I did apologize. He asked what I was apologizing about. I told him I apologize for not doing what I really wanted to do, and he deserved better.

He said that I always treat him so well. He is perfectly fine with me not going all out, but he understood what I meant. And he agreed that I shouldnt hold back next time. That I could trust him and he has my back.

In fact, he then asked me to be his Valentine next year.

I melted inside with that request. It was so sweet. I think the last of my defensive walls began to crumble down that night. James makes me feel loved and appreciated.

After our exchange of gifts, James opened a bottle of wine and poured us a drink. We made a toast to US, and then we played the game for lovers. Its one of those target games with different actions to perform on each other, where you throw the ball and wherever it lands, you do said action.
We really had a wonderful night. So fun and light. James is truly becoming a friend as well as a lover, and I am glad he found me.

I know that James didnt wisk me off to Paris and take me on a shopping spree, but what made this so special is that he listened to me. I've had great gifts on Valentine's Day before. Even super expensive ones, but this is the first Valentine's Day where everything happened just as I wanted. James gave me everything I asked for. He listens to me! Thats the best part. I love him.

I hope you all had a great Valentine's Day as well.
Thank you for reading and sharing! Comments are welcome.

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LaRhonda Cooper said...

Awww, I'm so so happy the your valentines day was such a success! Congrats!!

Sha'ahn said...

Thank you Rho

Empower The People said...

He has the long end of the stick, he has you. When a man has a good woman, he needs nothing else.

Empower The People said...

(: Bill: Phillips, 2015)

Sha'ahn said...

Just seeing this! Thx