New Territory: I asked to meet the kids

I got home from school and James was already there. He'd brought groceries for the next few days and had been prepping a snack for me when I walked in. I was very early, which surprised him. 

He'd deliberately gotten to my house extra early to surprise me with a snack and my favorite drink. 

I told him I was sorry for the lack of traffic, but it couldn't be helped! 

I wasn't feeling too well and James offered to rub my stomach. 

We just chatted. I began to feel better and called my mom. She and James spoke a bit. My mom wants to meet him. 

I told her she would soon enough. 

After talking to my mom, James and I watched tv until I had a huge thought. 

I sat on James' lap facing him and looked him in the eye. I told him I think it's time for me to meet his children. I mean, formally. 

I had been thinking about it for quite a while. Well, about a week! Lol 

We are becoming so close. He has a toothbrush in my bathroom and everything. I think it's time to integrate the children because I'm beginning to fall deeper and I don't want to get too accustomed just being with James, when in reality, he's a package. 

There's another component that I need to consider you know? 

I told him that I need to know whether I want his children in my life. Because if not, we won't last. So it's time to find out and go to step III. (Meet the kids)

He just stared so I asked what his thoughts were. He said he was surprised that I was asking to meet them sooner rather than later. I told him it's because at this point, I'm all in. And if we broke up, I'd really hurt, so let's start integrating the children in now before I get even deeper, and the. Later meet his kids, and THEN realize I don't want to be involved... That would suck. 

He said he understood what I was saying and he said he's okay with it. 

I did have to be sure to tell him that I am not trying to rush! Lol 

But now he knows my thoughts. 

Some people ask why I'm so weird about children. It's not that I have issues with kids, it's just that THESE children have bearing on my relationship! NEW TERRITORY for me....