Yesterday I really started having second thoughts about dating Dimples. It began to sink in that I would never be a first priority in his life. In fact, I would be dead last. For a long time.
The holidays are coming up too. Im not much for holidays, but Im hoping to get a little extra time with him, but Im not sure that will happen.
And then I was thinking that I dont want to have to live my life like I have children at home, simply because Dimples does. You know what I mean? I want to maintain my freedom to go out and have fun.
So I texted him that I was having second thoughts. He did not take it very well. He called me, and I brought up my concerns. He understood. He said he would try his best to show me how much he cares and to spend time with me, but he didnt want to try and persuade me, because he truly understands. And although it would make him unhappy, he was willing to let me go. But he doesnt want to lose me.
We were on the phone for more than an hour.
I told him he was jaded, and he agreed. I told him he cant have a self-defeating attitude.
He said he was trying not to, but his past relationships had failed because of his lack of availability.
We considered our options, which included platonic friends, and friends with benefits.
He said it was too hard to resist wanting to be exclusive with me. He really did not want to lose me.
I am on the same page with him.
He's all but told me he loves me.
I want to love him. I know I could fall hard for him. He makes me feel so good. I feel peace with him.
Thats something I havent felt in a long time. I feel at HOME with Dimples.
Okay, I'll be patient and see what he comes up with. I told him he has a 30 Day probationary period. Or else...