James Sings as Well as Nate Dogg...

April was so crazy! Full of emotional ups and downs. Mostly because of my hormones, I think. Either way, we survived. Well, James and our relationship survived...

I'm convinced that either I have PMS or I'm trying to sabotage this relationship. I mean, why else would I react so strongly to EVERY issue that arose? I understand my reaction to a few things, but I admit that I definitely overreacted to some minor offenses.

Both James and I did agree that every concern I bring up is legitimate, however every concern shouldn't warrant "serious relationship consideration." I told James I would be more mindful of my emotions when it's close to my visit from Aunt Flow. He kept quiet, which was wise! LOL

Boy it sure sucks to have PMS. I never suffered from it before, but I am 37 now. I guess it was inevitable that things are going to change within myself, and I gotta accept that. I'm gonna start working out again, though. I think my not working out is why my hormones may be off. And I know its a contributing factor to the aging process. I am definitely getting active again. Especially if I want to have a baby next year.

Anyway, I digress. But suffice it to say, James is all in and I am too. I have zero interest in any other man, and I have let the whole world know I'm COMPLETELY off the market.

James swears he never flirts, but Im not sure I buy that. I think he respects me and what we have, though. To keep the peace, he had accepted that I am flirtatious. It's who I am. Or was, because lately, I don't even want to flirt. I'm totally into James. That's sort of new for me. I mean, James is only the second man to gain my undivided attention. I don't even want other guys to be attracted to me. Lol I know this isn't a fleeting feeling either. I know it's true love.

(Flashback: Once an exboyfriend who was head over heels for me told me that if I got HIV/AIDS he would actually be relieved because at least he knew I would never leave him, and he didn't care whether he contracted said virus from me because he loved me that much. At the time, I couldn't even fathom feeling that much for anyone, to the point where I didn't care if they gave me a life-threatening disease. But now I can understand where my ex was coming from.)

I feel as though nothing can come between James and Me, and I look forward to our future together. I enjoy loving him, and I don't feel as though Im missing out on anything out there. I used to hate the idea of settling with one person, and part of me thought I would never settle down again. But here I am.

I know I've matured so much and I'm glad I grew up in time enough to enjoy this relationship. 

I'm doing things I would never do before. 

For instance, last night I was teasing James about him being a horrible singer. He told me that as long as it was a Nate Dogg or Usher song, he could sing it well. I told him to sing, "You Got it Bad." This man proceeds to sing to me, and it was so horrible! But he was just singing his heart out. I cant explain it to where you can picture it, but James with all 6 ft, 2 inches and 200+ pounds jumps on top of me (Im 5,2/ 113 lbs) and is singing and stuff. He is literally on top of me. I don't know how, but he didn't crush me. LOL

I told him that he cant sing very well. He told me that he used to sing in church and everyone liked it. I told him, that all churches encourage singers, good and bad. LOL He admitted that was true. Next, he suggested I sing. So I sang an Erykah Badu song. I closed my eyes and sung. He got quiet and the mood changed from playful to something more serious.

He started to really listen. The song was about loving someone unexpectedly. When I got through, James said I had a nice voice and that I can sing well.

Unbeknownst to him, I rarely sing in front of people. I used to sing, but that was back in my early twenties. Anyway, I told him that this moment was special to me, and I will always remember that night. It was one of those moments you know that you'll always regard with fondness.

I don't think it was significant to James because I mentioned it the following day, but he didn't hold the moment the way I did. LOL It meant a lot to me!

Anyway, James also told me that his mom wants to meet me. Im looking forward. Oh, and before I forget, James and I have been talking and have decided to build a business together. So excited!

Can't wait to keep sharing with you all.