Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Our Dads Are Complete Opposites

This past Saturday, James invited my dad and I to his parents' house on Lake Anna. I was definitely going to go because I didnt see James for more than an hour in the last seven days, and I was missing him something terrible! I missed him so much last week, that I was irritable and cranky the whole week! I was even mean to James, which was the exact opposite of how I was feeling. But he kept trying to see me in little snatches of time when he could, and I was just like, "Look! When I can see you for more than five minutes, let me know. Otherwise, handle your business."

I was irritable because I missed James, and on top of that, I was a little upset with myself for feeling that way when I KNEW he was busy building business, which of course will benefit me in the long run. I know what I want with James and he knows what he wants from me, so he is working to make it all happen. He is only one person, and I know that, but I just want my whole piece of him every day. When I don't get it, I start tripping and lashing out.

A few times we spoke on the phone last week, I was all short with James, and he couldnt figure out why. (One time it was because he insulted my hair without even seeing it, so I hung up on him after less than a minute. He apologized about that too, but otherwise, he was clueless.)

Anyway, as I said, I told my dad we would go to the lake and stay for a while. I got a late start that morning, so instead of leaving at 11, we left at noon. Traffic was HORRIBLE, so it took over an hour to get there. (BOOOOO) As we were driving down the driveway to the house, my dad was like, "Oh boy, this driveway needs to be paved. I would hate to drive out here in the winter time." I was like, "Tell me about it!" The driveway is filled with gravel, but there are uneven spots, so my sporty car was going, "bumpety bump bump," as I made my way down. I forgot how uneven the driveway was, and I was going a little too fast, but I was ok, and so was my baby Benz.

Speaking of the benz, I was hearing a pulling sound, so my dad took a look underneath it, when we got out the car. He didnt see anything, so he asked James, who had just appeared from around the side of the house, to take a look at it. James said it's probably because one of my tires needed air.

After that, James walked us around the house into the garage. My dad had brought a sheet of wood to cut for stakes to hold up my tomato plants. James already had the hand saw out ready to cut. They both worked together to cut the wood. I watched and took pics. Unfortunately, I did not take pictures of the view of the lake. I don't know why I keep forgetting to do that. Im telling you guys, the view is breathtaking. The lake is so peaceful too. My father, who is pretty hyper, was even a bit tranquil while there.

cutting the stakes out
James' two sons, who were down at the dock, walked up to see what the men were doing with the saw. I greeted them both with a hug. They are so sweet. The youngest one looks just like James, dimples and all. His daughter was inside playing a video game, according to his oldest son. I introduced my father to the boys and then they asked if they could ride their jet ski. James told them to wait a while because he needed to do some things first, but they were free to play in the sand and more shallow water until he was done.

Before they finished cutting the stakes out of the plank of wood, James' father returned home from church. The Mrs. wasn't with him, because there was a luncheon at the church, so she had stayed behind. I told my dad that maybe we would be there long enough so he could meet her too.

After cutting the wood up, James and I took the garbage to the local dump. It was a chance for us to get away from prying eyes and talk in private. James' father had asked us to pick up a Sunday paper for him as well, but the store had sold out. We left the store, then went to the dump. While we were in the truck, we talked about how we missed each other so much during our week apart. I apologized for being cranky with him. I told him it was only because I missed him, and wanted to see him. He said he understood.

You guys, James is the most even-tempered person I have ever met. He rarely gets upset or angry. I appreciate that about him and he helps me balance my own moods out. The longer we are together, the more I notice how much Im changing and becoming more patient and even a bit more kind. He doesn't assume that people have ulterior motives or bad intentions. I had a habit of questioning everything people do, and wondering what their motives were when unexceptionally kind. But now, Im doing that much less.

Anyway, I was supposed to be telling you guys how different James' father is from my own. The biggest apparent difference is in their social natures. My dad is a people person and will talk your ears off. James' dad is a man of very few words. But he will talk to you, of course, and answer questions. We left the two together, and my dad told me that he lead the conversation.

Both our fathers are Vietnam era veterans. My dad was Marines, and James' dad was Army. James' father is an entrepreneur and built a few businesses before retiring to the lake. My dad worked for DoD then became a carpenter, cook, handyman and now does odd jobs most of the time. He lives a peaceful life but not on a lake. He lives in an apt in West Philly. The two men couldn't be more different.

One thing they do share is a love for their family and friends, and they want them to be comfortable and happy. Both of them also are controlling to an extent. I guess it's just that time they came up in that makes them that way. By controlling, I mean, they want things done in a certain way. My way or the Highway mentality is strong in these guys!

We all just sat on the dock at the lake and watched the kids splash around. After a while, James attempted to take the jet ski out, but it needed some type of repair. The kids were disappointed. They just played in the lake though, so it was no big deal.

It was so peaceful out there. Even my father was affected by the peace and beauty of Lake Anna. He got quiet for a little while!

We all had a really good day, and after a couple hours, I thought it was time to go. I think my dad was talking James' dad to death, but I wasnt sure. LOL In any event, I wanted to beat the traffic home, so I decided to get going.

James and the kids had wanted us to stay for dinner, but we went on home. As I was driving back to my place, my dad was laughing about the kids and how well mannered they were. He remarked about how the oldest would tease the younger ones a bit. But he could tell it was all love. He said, "Babe, you met a really nice guy and he has a nice family." I told my dad that I know how lucky I am and if it was appropriate, I would go as far as to thank James' ex-wife for doing me a favor by letting him go. He just laughed.

That's it guys. It's all love and all good. Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for more.

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