Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Flirtatious Convo and Drama Part 2: Im in the clear, but then THIShappens...

Last time we left off at me coming home to discuss my "bad behavior."
I was stoic when I first came home. My mind was made up that if James wanted to play hard, then so would I. I know I was wrong, but he read the messages himself. Even Stevie Wonder could see that I was just flirting and nothing was going on there.

We have a good thing and I wasn't going to just give up, but I wasnt going to beg James to stay with me either.

I don't know why I was getting myself so hyped. I walked in and James and I just stared at each other. I was the first to look away. He was laying on the bed horizontally, so I sat in a chair. I read his body language to mean he didnt want me on the bed next to him, otherwise he would have made room for me.

We were still quiet. I think for about 3 minutes. Those three minutes were filled with so much emotion.

I spoke first. "So, is our honeymoon over? Are your rose-colored glasses off now?"
James said, "Yes," and looked down.

I said, "So, what does that mean then?"

He didnt say anything.

"I said, do you want to break up?"

James said, "No, Sha'ahn. I dont want to break up with you. I just want you to respect our relationships and put yourself in my place."

I said, "I know I was wrong. I am serious about you, James. But in my defense, I didnt think much of these IMs. I know Im not tempted to step away from you, so I just amused myself. And I dont act like Im by myself. I told the guy that I am dating someone, so he knows it wont become anything."

James said that he wasnt so much concerned with me, but with the guy on the other end of my messages. He said, "You still give him hope of having a chance with you, just by conversing with him, regardless of his knowing you have me."

I agreed, but told James, "Who cares what he thinks could potentially happen? Im the one in the relationship, so at the end of the day, its about my actions."

James said that made sense, but he just didnt like the fact that holding these backdoor conversations always have the potential to become more. I agreed, but I told him, it's just flirting, but I will cease all flirting in my inboxes on social media. Not just because he doesnt like it, but because I think its the right thing to do.

We agreed to keep building on our relationship!


I get a crazy comment on one of my first posts about James and I becoming exclusive. A woman claimed that I was dating James at the same time her best friend was dating James. My response was first one of disbelief.

Why would James agree to be on my blog if he was creeping? Made no sense. The other thing that was perplexing me was the "friend" leaving a comment on my blog. What adult does that? I immediately suspected that this "friend" is actually the woman who thought she was dating James along with me.

I replied to the comment with, "Are you sure? Please post proof."

I wasn't even going to try to hide it. If James was going to be exposed as a liar, then why not post it on the blog? And if this person was going to publicly call him out, then why not post the proof there as well?

The woman responded to my request for proof with a request for my email address.

I obliged and waited for the poo-poo to hit the fan.

The email I received from her included less than 10 screenshots texts between she and James. I call her mysterious, because in the screenshots she sent me, she blocked out her face. She also only sent partial conversations that left her responses to a minimum. The texts were dated from October to Dec.

They were flirtatious, but nothing too bad. One text was damning though. Even so, I had no issue with the texts, because they were sporadic and they were not deep at all.

Back to the messages from Mystery Lady...

So, in her email, she said she was looking out for me. That she and James had been dating since September and that he was a liar and she was glad she eliminated him from her life.

I asked her when did they decide to become exclusive and had she met his children, had they slept together and when did they last talk/see each other.

She responded with a long email! It was padded with talk about female solidarity and dudes ain't shit type of stuff. But once I got through all of that, they truth came out.

They had met in Sept. They saw each other TWICE. Both times were within a two-week timeframe.
You all know that in September, I was still dating Mr. Potential. James was around, but we were still just talking and getting to know each other, but I was perfectly fine with us seeing other people and not being monogamous.

In fact, you all know that I was reluctant to get serious. But I digress...

The email from mystery girl also stated that she and James had made plans several times to go out but he would always cancel due to activities with his children, or her schedule got in the way.
She said they hadnt slept together and she was not even interested in him that way due to her Christian beliefs. (YAWN Bye girl. From the texts I read, if it was me, and a guy told me he had thoughts about me that might make me hot, and I was all spiritual, I would cut him off. But yet, she kept the texting up... Uh huh, you aint want him? Lies and deceit! LOL) She said, maybe thats why he wasnt interested in her. (Yet you two are dating? oh. ok)

She said she never met his kids, and that she hadn't heard from him in weeks. (Yet, you two are dating? Oh. okay then)

Im not going to go into my exact response to this woman, but I told her that she needs to learn the difference between getting to know someone and a committed relationship.

My mom said she probably came across the blog, noticed we met James around the same time, and saw that he was actually spending time with me and growing a relationship with me, all the while texting her here and there.

I asked James about this. He said he was keeping her on the back burner because I was so up and down. I said, "Whatever man! You could have come clean last week when I got exposed for flirting!!!"

He had the nerve to laugh. He said, "You're right."

So, where do we go from here? Do we have trust, or no?

We decided to forgive each other, and to be more mature and less fearful. I told him I take responsibility for being so flaky. I know that I was holding back part of myself. I didnt want to meet his family at Thanksgiving, and all that... So he really wasn't sure how I felt about him.

I said, "Now everything is out in the open. You know I love you. We are supposed to be moving forward, so let's just do that."

James was more than happy to oblige. I said, "So you scared to do more videos with me? Are there gonna be more chicks crawling out the woodworks?"

He swears there won't be and he hasnt been leading anyone else on, or even being flirtatious. He ain't scared. LOL

That's the end.... What do you think about that?

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