Tuesday, December 2, 2014

How Long Should I Wait Before Meeting His Children?

I posed this question on Facebook and the post exploded immediately. Well, I actually asked whether waiting a year to meet Dimples' children was too long. I was surprised at the amount of responses stating that a year was indeed too long...

Many commentators thought a year was too long, simply because they felt that if the kids and I didnt get along, then that is a year wasted. I disagree. I believe that if we develop love for each other over the course of a year, then the addition of children would be a welcomed eventuality.

Is there a possibility of friction? Of course! (Especially taking into account the fact that Dimples doesn't introduce women to his children) There is is bound to be some jealously, and an adjustment period. But I dont think it will divide Dimples and I.

I was glad to hear that Dimples takes at least a year before introducing his children to a woman he is dating. Mainly because Im not interested in integrating into his life with his children at this point. It's only been a couple of months. Right now, we are talking about dating exclusively, and that in itself is a big move for me.  I am content with getting to know him better. I get to see glimpses of him as a father, through our interactions, and that's good enough for me.

For instance 

Why did he bring up his children if we are just now talking about being exclusive?

We needed to discuss the children, because Dimples comes with them. So, although he isnt asking me to do anything at this time, he wanted to remind me that eventually, I would have to meet his children. He wanted me to think about it. I told him I wasnt ready to even think about kids right now. But I understand where he is coming from.

Dimples said that he doesnt want us to waste each other's time if I dont want to be around children at all. So before we made that final declaration to be exclusive, we needed to talk a bit about the "what ifs." (What if we really get serious and decide to move on together or get married?!)

Please  don't misunderstand; it wasnt an "end all be all" type of conversation, but it HAD to be brought up, because we are considering seeing each other well into the foreseeable future. You know what that means, right? So do we. That's why that conversation had to take place.

Ugghhhh am I really ready to be a stepmom?

Okay, ok... It may be too early to think about that stepmom bit, butnot really, if we are thinking we can go all the way with this relationship.

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