Tuesday, February 7, 2012

entry ten: what's weed got to do with it?

So, I met this Indian guy, named V, on one of those dating sites that advertises all over television. And every time I see those ads I think, "that did not happen in my case!"

Anyway, V lived near me and he is a dentist. He seemed cool over email, and eventually the phone. He was a year older than me. Pretty good looking, and had a fun-loving spirit not unlike my own. We talked about the places we traveled to and how it would be cool to maybe one day travel together to a place neither of us had been. We kept the conversations short for the most part, but we texted a lot. It was difficult for us to meet due to my schedule, but eventually we were able to meet up for a few minutes between my appointments.

Upon arriving at the donut shop near my home and his dental office, I checked out his ride, and I liked it. Not too flashy. When he stepped out of the car, I immediately noticed how short he was. I think he gave himself about two or three inches on the website, but he was still taller than me, so I didnt really mind that. He had an awesome smile, and his clothes were neat.

He walked up and gave me a hug. Unfortunately, he had that "pits smell." Call me whatever name you want to for the statement I'm about to make, but he smelled like many foreigners do who do NOT wear deodorant. I don't understand why people from overseas don't use deodorant. If it's the whole aluminum causes cancer thing, then there are natural alternatives out there. I, in fact, use Alba deodorant. I've used Tom's of Maine as well. Both work! And there's no risk of cancer, or offending other people's noses. (0_o)

He wasn't reeking, so it was tolerable, but I kept my distance.

So, the conversation was okay, but things started going downhill once I noticed he was all up in my mouth. I said, "Hey V, I know you're a dentist and all, but stop staring at my fangs!"
He laughed and said, "I can't help it. It's what I do. So, who's your dentist?"

I told him. He said, "I don't know him. Where is he? Is he located in your county?" I said that he was, and I asked if V was jealous. V said that he was. I thought that was cute. I also wondered if I started dating him would that mean FREE dental work. 'Cuz I needed something done that's quite expensive.

I never got the chance to find out because shortly after the dentist part of the conversation, V begins pressuring me to come to his house. I said, "We just met, we can't do that yet," in my best impression of Salt n Pepa. He said, "Why not, we don't live far from each other, and it would save money. I could cook for you, or we can order out."

CHEAP BASTARD

I said, "I'd rather have dinner and get to know you better by hanging out with you and all, but at places like a museum or something. Not your house!"

He sighed and said, "Well, do you have any weed?"

I said, "No. Should I?"

He said, "No worries, I have some. But if we smoke, you have to come over my house, because I'm no more good after I smoke." I was shocked silent. I sputtered, "Wait, what? I just told you that I wasn't comfortable hanging out at your house. Why would I change my mind to smoke weed? Like, man, I don't really even know you."

He was like, "Awww come on, lighten up."

I was like, "I gotta go."

He said, "Okay then. When will I see you again? It's so hard to catch up with you."

I said, "I don't know, cuz I'm super busy."

And I was outta there. He texted me a lot after that trying to hook back up. But I always had a lame excuse. He eventually gave up.

That whole exchange was confusing.

2 comments:

Mae said...

Sha'ahn this post is hilarious! I enjoy reading your stories on your journey to meet Prince charming. I guess we have to kiss a lot of frogs. lol

Sha'ahn said...

I know right?! I wish it werent so, but hey, it makes for great blog fodder huh? Thanks for reading.