Sunday, December 18, 2011

entry seven: The Duke Law Grad (or, one of the best dates Ive ever had)

One awesome Friday night back in September I was out at Club Liv in DC celebrating with my homegirl to ring in her birthday. The night began at Stadium for happy hour and free drinks, then moved to the other club once we got tired of gawking at the strippers contorting their bodies in crazy ways and sliding down greasy poles. (SIDE NOTE: I did not know that Stadium was a strip club. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I walked in and the first thing I saw was a girl on a pole with her cookie jar open staring me right in my face. These heaux don't wear drawers??? I thought that was illegal. Oh, that's Va., not DC I guess)

But I digress.

The night was pretty awesome. I danced with a guy wearing glasses who kept telling me how hot I was, and eventually invited me into one of the unisex bathrooms so he could get a good look at me in the light. At first I was reluctant to go, because I didnt want people to see me go into one of the bathooms with a dude. But since there was no one in the area (the way Liv is set up is there is a rest area with sinks just outside the bathrooms at the back of the club. There's no divider wall or anything, simply three doors that lead to tiny rooms containing a single toilet.) I said, "what the heck," and took his hand as he led me to the rest area in the back of the club. In fact, I thought his idea to get a good look at me was hilarious, because I was hoping by some chance I could get to see him in some bright light outside of the dim club atmosphere too. Anyway, once we got into the bathroom, Glasses gave me a once over and said, "Yeah, definitely a cutie." The stall was super tiny, so I had my back pressed against one wall and his was against the other. I gave him an appraisal as well, concluding that he was indeed sexy enough to hand out my digits. We exchanged numbers then and there. He didnt try so much as a hug and I appreciated that, so I hugged him.

After our once overs, he opened the door, and wouldn't you know it, there was a line of patrons waiting to get a turn in the bathroom!! I was slightly embarrassed, because I could tell by the looks on their faces that they thought some hanky panky swirling had just gone down, but I shook it off, saying to myself, "Whatever! They don't know me."

We went back out on the dance floor and busted it up for a while, until Glasses said he had to roll. We said our goodbyes, and I found a seat to rest my aching dogs for a while. I just people watched mostly and cheered my girlfriend on as she celebrated the night away. As I was chilling out, sipping my drink, which was HORRIBLE by the way, the birthday girl walked over to me with two guys by her side. She introduced him and he introduced his friend. The friend was super cute. He had a small gap between his two front teeth which I thought made him sexy. He was honey-colored and had short curly hair. Kind of reminded me of an Ethiopian. He told me he was 28, and a lawyer who worked downtown. I said, "Man please! (in my best Martin voice) You ain't no lawyer." He insisted he was and said that he had graduated from Duke Law School. I said, "Oh, okay so you fancy, huh? But you have my attention." He chuckled and asked me to dance. I danced with him, and noted that he wasn't the best dancer. But, he was cute and gainfully employed so I was biting.

During our dance we conversed here and there, and I thought he was really cool. Well spoken and well mannered. We all had a good time. When the lights came up, the four of us walked outside and exchanged numbers. Before my girlfriend and I began to walk to her car, Duke Law grabbed my hand, and said, "Hey, my friend will walk your girl to her car. I will walk you to yours if that's okay." I told him that I hadnt driven and that I rode with her, but that I was staying in a hotel on I Street because I didnt want to drive all the way back to Virginia all sloshed. He said he wanted to spend just a few more moments with me and would take me back to my hotel. I thought it was a good idea and walked back to my girl to check with her. We huddled up and she told me that she didnt mind the other guy walking her to her car, and told me to be careful but have fun. I giggled that I would be careful, before walking back to where Duke Law was waiting. Then he and I began walking toward his car. After a minute or so, Duke Law asked me if I wanted to do something crazy. I said, "Why not?" And he asks me if I want to go to his job. I said, "What? It's like three in the morning." He said, "So, I have an access card. Besides, I want to show you that Im really a lawyer." I said, "Alright, where is it?" He told me the address and suggested driving there. My gut told me he was good to go, so I said, "Alright, crazy man. Let's go."

We walked to his car, which was an older Ford Taurus station wagon. I jokingly asked him how many children he had, and he said he didnt have any and that his mom had given him the car a few years back and he didnt see the need to buy a new one. I told him that it was cool that he didnt care what people thought about him, and Im sure he saved a ton of money by not having to pay a note. As he drove he told me that he was actually his friend's ride home and that he told him that he was only walking me to my car and would be right back. I said, "What?! That's mean. How's he gonna get home?" Duke Law told me that his old lady would pick him up, and not to worry about it. I said, "Awww man. My friend likes him, and he already has a girl." He told me that it was actually his ex, but she would do anything for him. I thought that was messed up and I told him that. He shrugged and said, "I know, but that's his business, and I stay out of it." We made a little more small talk, and in less than ten minutes, we were in front of the law offices where he worked. He swiped his badge and the revolving door unlocked. We took an elevator up a few floors and when the doors opened, I stood in awe. These were some dope offices! It was super modern with lots of glass and open space. I could hardly believe that so much space was behind what looked like such a small area jam-packed with office buildings that rose high into the D.C. sky. I looked around like my head was on a swivel.

The offices were done in cool colors of blues and yellows with taupe colored walls and carpets. We climbed some stairs and started down a long narrow hallway full of closed doors. He stopped at each one and as I read the name plates on the wall, he told me fun facts about each person. When we reached one of the last ones, I noticed his last name was French, and I said as much to him. He said, I'm Creole. I made a joke about Beyonce being Creole,which he didnt get and then told him I thought he was Ethiopian, which he said he heard a lot since moving to D.C. from L.A.

We walked into his office. It was sparsely furnished, but very neat. I immediately shed my shoes. Those Kirkwoods might look great, but they were killing my poor piggies. I told Duke Law that my feet hurt and I asked him for a foot massage. He pulled the chair that was in front of his desk around so that it was beside the chair behind it, and motioned for me to sit. I sat across from him and raised my legs to put my feet in his lap. He took off my shoes and was about to start rubbing my left foot before I stopped him because I had second thoughts. I told him to wait a minute while I snatched up one of my shoes to smell it. I know I didnt have stinky feet, but there's something about taking my shoes off in front of a stranger for the first time that always makes me want to double check. Once I gave him the all clear, he laughed and proceeded to massage my feet.


As he rubbed we talked. He told me about his childhood and how he never made a lot of friends because his family moved around a lot. He said his uncle and aunt were like real life Huxtables in reverse roles and that was why he wanted to become a lawyer. (To be like his uncle) He said that he had always been insecure, despite what many people told him about his good looks. (And yes, he is really good looking.) The insecurities stemmed from not making solid friends in his youth, and then as an adult, they were compounded when sadly, he did not pass the bar exam the first time around and add to that losing his first love around the same time. He said he hadnt been physically intimate with anyone since his last girlfriend and that was about a year ago. He said he was sort of seeing someone and they were still in the "get to know you" phase, but he was nervous about going "there" since it had been so long. I said, "If she isn't pressuring you for sex, then don't sweat it. It'll happen naturally." I told him that everyone has insecurities, but it seems that he accomplished a lot in life and not to worry. He thought that being a new lawyer at 28 put him behind the power curve, and he wasnt happy where he was at the moment. I told him that things would fall into place and that he should learn to live in the moment.

We talked more about fashion (my idea) and then we got on the topic of music. He said he wanted to play one of his favorite songs if I didnt mind. I told him that it was his office and he was free to play whatever song he wanted. He ended up going on YouTube to play Renee', by the Lost Boyz. I shouted, "That's my song! Wow. Its so cool that you like this. I wouldnt take you for a Lost Boyz fan. You seem so straight-laced." He chuckled and said, "I'm from L.A." I said, "And?" And we both just laughed.

After our musical session, where we both rapped the lyrics along with the Boyz, he said he wanted to take me to the senior partner's office to show me the difference in views from their office windows. When we got up to leave, he stopped me at his office door and asked for a kiss. I didn't answer with words. Instead I leaned in and stood on my tiptoes. He got my hint and leaned down to kiss me. It was sweet, but a teeny bit awkward because he kind of misjudged my distance, I guess, and leaned in too fast causing our teeth to bump at first. Im glad my lip didnt get caught in that crossfire. That would have hurt. But after that, it was okay. We didnt swap spit or anything. No tongues. Just a couple sweet kisses. Then he began to walk down the hallway, and I followed, shoes dangling from my pointer and middle fingers.

When we got all the way to the opposite end of the hallway, we entered a large corner office. He turned on the light. The office was not very tidy. There were books and papers everywhere. We went over to the window and I had to admit that I was impressed by the view. He said, "See this? This is what a partner gets." I told him that one day he would have a view like this of his own. We walked over to a bookcase and I began to pick up the paperweights and other items on the top of the shelf, being mindful to replace them exactly the way I had found them.

Duke Law told me about the deals the lawyers brokered and how much money they got for their clients which were mostly corporations and oil companies. I was quiet and just let him talk. I liked how he talked. (Always have loved a Cali accent)

On our way outside, Duke Law said, "I'm hungry. Please tell me you're hungry too. I'm not ready for this night to end." I was happy. I said, "I am hungry. Where do you want to go?" He took me to The Diner in Adams Morgan since it was like the only spot open at 4am. We had grits, eggs and turkey bacon with toast and jam. He was the consummate gentleman and I really did enjoy the time spent with him.

Once breakfast was over he drove me back to my hotel. During the ride, I told him that I found him very attractive, but I noticed that his eyes were sad. I said, "You have sad eyes. Why?"
He said, "You noticed that. Hmmmm I don't know. I guess Im not exactly happy." I didn't press it. We were silent the rest of the way.

When we reached Club Quarters (my hotel), he opened my car door, which he had done all night. He held out his hand for me to grasp as I got out of the car. We kind of just stood there for a minute or two not knowing what to say. I don't know why, but I just knew I wouldn't see him again, and it had nothing to do with the girl in his life. There was more there. Something heavy that was weighing on him. I decided I'd chalk it up to a great night and enjoy it for what it was. I shared some of my thoughts and he was quiet. He said, "You're a really good catch." I said, "You don't have to call."

He walked me to the door and smiled. Then he walked to his car. Before getting in, he said, "I'll call." He never did.

I have mixed feelings about this. I really liked his company, but he had some internal issues that he was dealing with and I knew he wasn't ready for a new woman in his life. I just felt it. It's okay too. Sometimes people just need to share space before they crawl back into their solitude, and I was fine with that. I had a really good time that night. Just living in the moment and going where the vibe took me.

He did too. Which is something he said he rarely does. I wish him the best.


LaRhonda said...

I hope he calls, but then again I've dealt with insecure guys and it's draining. I wish him the best. Enjoy dating!!!

AfrikanBeauti said...

He is not going to would seem.

Sha'ahn said...

Yes, I know he isnt. oh well. Great night though. One I wont soon forget. And sometimes thats all thats supposed to happen. You know?

Anonymous said...

Shaahn, I really hate to break this to you, but this man was either one of two things; married or living with someone.

You may disagree, but let me tell you, your story - I could have sworn you were talking about me - lol. I can't tell you how many times - way back when - when I projected these romantic images on men that I barely knew. No, I'm sorry, didn't know at all.

And then when they didn't call I always had an excuse for them. But really, men aren't this darn complicated. If this man liked you and wanted to be with you, nothing could have stopped him from calling you, picking you up the next day, whatever - he would have gotten in touch with you.

Because he knew he wasn't going to get any, even after all his show-boating, which was really a borderline desperate move to try and romanticize you into giving up your cookies, he gave up and left you with all these suppositions and presupposes - lol.

You made a lot of excuses for a man you didn't know anything about, and it seems you failed to recognize the obvious.

I can't tell you how many times the women placed in my path, along my journey used to tell me this very thing, and because I was so brilliant and together, I knew they were wrong; because I was going to prove them wrong. I never did.

It wasn't until I met a man that dispelled all my beliefs about what love was that I realized everything that I thought I knew about men, was a lie; or rather was something made up in my mind because I didn't have the answers.

Have you asked yourself this, what would this man's career or lack thereof, have anything to do with him calling you again? Did you think that he fell in love with you on that first night after rubbing your pinky toe and gallivanting you around his bosses office (which could roughly be invasion of privacy - seeing as how it's a law firm and all - but I digress)?

I noticed you made it a point to point out that this 'really did happen', and even after seeing that, my eyebrows are raised - lol. No offense, I believe you; but I have a difficult time believing that anyone is this undiscerning, but I could be wrong.

Sha'ahn said...

Call me disillusioned but there was somethung about that night that I guess can't be conveyed in words. I didn't project anything onto him romantic or otherwise. I don't think someone out to have a one night stand would tell me all his secrets, especially about his performance anxiety. And don't forget that when we got to my hotel, he didn't try to ask to come up, or anything. I can't speak for his living situation, cuz ur right, I don't know him, but there was no evidence of an s/o in his office or car.

I think we met, had a nice night, and that was it. And yes, he wasn't tryna pursue further, but I'm not gonna say it was cuz he had a woman. Maybe I just wasn't his type.

I've met guys on the street before, hung out for lunch or dinner, wihout even exchanging contact info. Its just like that sometimes.